6 Tips for Renting Your First Home

Dealing with landlords can be a serious game of chess. In my first rental home, I didn’t tend to the daily maintenance that was required on my behalf and karma came for my roommates and me when it came to moving time. We were required to give the rental a deep clean before we moved out, which we overlooked in the contract. Since we didn’t tend to these areas throughout our time living in the house, it required much more work than if we had.

This Is What 25 Feels Like

I told a table of friends the other night that I haven’t yet had a crisis about turning 25. I am an ambiguous dreamer, not a future goal setter, so I’ve never had a picture in my mind of what 25 would look like. I didn’t necessarily think I would be married or having babies (Lord have mercy) or hitting certain career milestones by the time I hit my mid-twenties, so I didn’t feel like I was coming up short when I blew out my candles this past December.

FROM THE ARCHIVES: 9-to-5ing

Coming from somebody who feels suffocated in a turtleneck, I was not about tying myself down to anything. I can’t even buy a pair of shoes without feeling like I’m signing a contract with myself. There was no reason not to take the job really, since I spent all of the past year buying Tostitos and wine and was in no position to pass it up. But I wasn’t ready to give up the dream of traveling/writing/starring in my own television show, with the “I don’t belong in khakis and I want to be free” mentality.

Make An Effort: 5 Things I Learned About Keeping Friendships After College

About a year ago, halfway through my senior year, one of my friends who had just graduated said, “Maintaining friendships in post grad life is hard, but it’s all about making an effort.”

I believed this at the time but I was still in denial that I wouldn’t be as close to my best friends as I was in college. How could everything change so quickly? Would all of the effort we had put into these friendships these past four years just go to waste?

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Learning to Be

The amount that I miss college has grown vast and visceral these days. The new school year started on the same day that I started my job, and it felt wrong to be running to catch the subway when I should have been running to class. I don’t have my friends around to ground me, to remind me of our four-year and forever home. I used to find God at nighttime Mass, on service trips, in philosophy discussions; without those elements at my fingertips, I’m restless. My nostalgia is beyond what can be prettified by an Instagram filter; it’s heavy, and lonely, and I have felt inexplicably and irrationally isolated in bearing its weight.

What A Thrifted Table Taught Me About Waiting

But I was tired of waiting. Tired of being single. Done with the questions at family gatherings about why I’m not dating. So I settled on a relationship I knew wasn’t right for me.

And you know what? I was miserable. The relationship drained the life right out of me, and I felt empty, anxious, and confused. As much as I’d love to channel T Swift right now and insert a chorus about all the shitty things he did, I’ll save that for another time.

Go At Your Own Pace

I know I’m not the only young person in this situation. So many people in their twenties, sometimes thirties even, are completely unsure of what they want to do with their lives—myself included. I’m used to hearing certain thoughts creep into my head, such as, “Why am I even here right now? Shouldn’t I have my own apartment, a job, and some sort of really amazing, glamorous life by now?” This especially happens after I see updates from my friends (and former classmates) on Instagram, Facebook, the whole shebang.

The Year of No Bullshit

A dozen times, so far. That’s how many times I’ve been there in 2018 as I write this—so, on average, once a week. And with margaritas between us, I’ve listened to friends put words to heartbeats: fears of being disposable, fears of falling behind in careers, fears of making mistakes, fears of commitment, fears of vulnerability. All broken, fearful hearts shared over reasonably-priced Mexican fare.

Self-Deception Is The Worst Deception

All of these self-deprecating thoughts caused me to have an extreme amount of stress and anxiety during the entire semester. I made each assignment more difficult than it actually was by reminding myself that I was not smart enough to do the work, which resulted in a ridiculous amount of late nights in the library and all nighters.

What I've Learned About Dating By Going On Less Than One Date

Less than a week ago I turned 25. I had a very excited boy text me multiple times, wishing me happy birthday and triple checking to make sure I was having a good day. This is truly the most commitment I have gotten out of the opposite sex in my quarter of a century. In part, this is because I have become very good at maintaining my singleness. Even without my deeply rooted fears of commitment and affection from men, I am still incredibly independent, stubborn and an always-fun split between a damn lady who needs to be courted by a gentleman and a damn feminist who will not tolerate inequality of any kind, so don’t you dare try to hold open my car door. My Bumble profile basically writes itself.

Why It's Okay to Take A Break from Dating in Your Twenties

If you’ve also been considering taking a break from the dating scene, here is your sign to go for it! During this time away, I’ve discovered that there are so many other areas of our lives in which love can also be found. Making healthy changes in these areas will positively impact our lives so much, that they will undoubtedly prepare us to become better partners when we do finally decide to get back out there and venture into the world of dating once again. We can use this time to do the following.

FROM THE ARCHIVES: What You Should Know About Waiting

Over coffee one weekend, my friend poured out her thoughts in the vein of frustration with her first full-time gig after college. Her angst was stemming from the general discontent of routine and the initial feeling—3 weeks in—that her job was meaningless and seemingly dead-end.

As I listened, I felt the ping of familiarity with these sentiments—feeling discontent with the present and frustration of waiting for the future.

She asked me, “How long does it take for this to go away?”