Some Thoughts on First Dates

Ah, dating in your twenties. Does anyone really know how to properly do this? In an attempt to entertain myself, I got on Tinder for exactly the third time in my life. The first two times would require their own posts, to be honest. This time, I was simply there to swipe left and reassure myself that I’m single because there are essentially no men to date in a 100-mile radius of where I live. Until, that is, a handsome stranger super liked me. How could I ignore that?

The Winter Wallows: Learning to Appreciate the Dark Seasons

Despite the magic of the moment, I pretty much hate winter. My feet are perpetually cold from December to March, and the sun hibernates for weeks at a time. I’m the Scrooge of winter; everything is grey and my mood is quick to reflect that. I thrive in the temperate seasons of spring and fall, and I can even get behind the long days of summer, even when the sweaty Southern humidity makes me irrationally grumpy.

A Beginner's Guide to Self-Discipline

Once I realized that Discipline is not a bad hang, I started inviting him in to spruce up other areas of my life. Meal prepping, writing when I don’t feel like it, practicing guitar, journaling, keeping my living spaces pretty—all these things require the wisdom and care of Discipline. I have found that my creativity, free-spirit nature, and whimsical planning are only as good as the boundaries of self-discipline they are held within.

The Inconvenience of Love

Disclaimer: I’ve never been one to appreciate people. My self-defensive armor growing up was sarcasm and a black-and-white, right-or-wrong view of the world. I followed the rules and made the grades and went to church because I was supposed to, but pride and the need to be right was my motivation behind this rigid rule-following. And while college was a gradual melting of this judgmental view of people and life, it wasn’t until after college that the real work began. Time to scorch the earth to make way for new things, better things.

Ladders and Light: Finding Peace Within the Busy

If post-graduate life, and starting this internship, is like climbing a ladder, then I’m getting lightheaded. It’s a challenge, there’s some risk involved, but I took my chances: and now I’m tired. The up-and-down snatches my breath away and I need a moment of pause; need a reassuring smile from the one holding the ladder steady.

Digging Up Gratitude

At the beginning of the fall, when I was still in the adjusting-to-a-new-job-turned-teenage-angst phase, I would make lists of things I was grateful for to try and counteract my unease. I am a deep feeler if there ever was one, and it is hard for me to recognize something as truth if I don’t feel it is true. This makes gratitude lists in the midst of change and transition and fear of failing incredibly challenging, because I don’t feel like being grateful, thank you very much.

4 Ways to Find Calm

I notice when I don’t take the time to make space for myself to breathe. I wake up without any energy. I can’t shake the feeling that something feels wrong. When I’m too busy, I have to consciously make the effort to find calm.

How Long: The Timeline of Healing

Healing isn’t tangible and doesn’t stick to arbitrary timelines; it’s beyond our control, and because of this, it can feel so elusive, so impossible. As a generation that’s been raised on instant gratification, we can’t microwave healing into existence, and as someone who is decidedly not good at waiting, this truth is exceedingly difficult to accept.

The Case for That Someone

There is an argument to be made about needing a rock in a new world. This isn't always found in a significant other. I think we should all consider ourselves the lucky ones if we are able to identify at least one individual that helps us balance our world. A friend, a mom, a dad, a mentor, or anyone willing to help bear the burdens of life. We need that person who reminds us of the wonderful moments tied up amidst our tangled lives. 

1 in 68: Living in the "Real World" With Autism

It happens pretty much every time. I freak out, start to doubt what I can do and believe that I don’t deserve any sort of success. I tend to run through these thoughts over and over in my head, and everything speeds up faster and faster, as if my brain is a steam engine nearing the last stop on a railroad track. When someone asks me, “What’s wrong?” or “How can I help you?” I don’t even know what to say. When I try to open my mouth to say what I need, I can’t even get the words right. At times, I feel like an imposter, not ready to face the real world like the cool, confident women I aspire to be like.

Why You're Not Accomplishing Your Goals (and How to Start)

It’s the beginning of a new season in your life. You’re committed to getting more clients, making more money, having more of an impact in your community. You’re setting your goals, your intentions, making your “must accomplish” list.

Flash-forward: It’s the end of the month. It’s halfway through the year. It’s December 31. Those goals you set? Halfway done or never touched. No progress. What gives?

On Quitting Your Dream Job

But after a while, and in my classic twenty-something fashion, I began to feel restless. I wasn't sure exactly what it was I wanted anymore. Because my heart is similar to Augustus Gloop in that it's greedy. It wants to know all of the outcomes. It wants to know which path to take before I have to take a single step. It wants freedom. It wants travel. It wants stability. And more often than not, it wants chocolate.

3 Things to Remember When You're in the Trenches of Life

Whole seasons of my life, important lessons I’ve learned, have taken years to sink in because I was so busy tidying them up. I had no respect for my own process, no acknowledgement of the journey I was on. This denial wasn’t intentional, but it became instinctual. I’m still learning how to sit in the unrest that life often brings. If you, too, have a hard time settling into the trenches and naming the shifty, uncertain feelings you’re experiencing, some of these thoughts might help.