When Your Parents Become Human

Like many people my age, I have divorced parents.

They split up when I was in the sixth grade, and to be completely honest, when I was put on the spot the other day, I couldn’t really recall much of their relationship before that. The whole process was treacherous and heartbreaking and something I had chosen to forget.

It's Okay That People Leave

We listed a few names, talked about the few who we never spoke to anymore. The ones who were falling off the list from distance, from change. The rare loved ones whom we rarely get the chance to talk to, but when we see each other all is exactly the same.

“It’s weird how some people just leave, and you hardly even notice it.”

It Doesn't Have to be Forever to be Good

Have you ever done that thing, where you see someone cute from across a room and before you’ve so much as exchanged names, you’ve pictured all the ways they’ll make you fall in love with them before they eventually break your heart, and then all of a sudden they’ve picked up their coffee and left the building before you even said hi? I am a master of that game.

Obstacles Are Necessary

Following our dreams is extremely difficult and the journey rarely makes sense. Day in and day out, we pour every ounce of ourselves into this dream, doing our very best to make things happen. Just when we think we're (finally) getting somewhere, life throws us a curveball and we find ourselves back at square one.

Being Your Own Biggest Fan

Make one mistake and your words tremble. You instantly become self-conscious of your every motion and movement. You criticize the way you said something, the sound of your voice, the hand gestures you made. Your imperfections grow into monsters. 

When All You Can Do Is Just Be There

I rub her back and take a deep breath in and out, motioning her to do the same--slow breath in, slow breath out. She sits, eyes closed, and I sit too, silent. We don’t share the same language, so what can I say to ease her anxiety? But I know her feelings of panic, the way you mind spins and everything seems out of control and it’s all you can do to just sit still and be. And all I can do, all I can offer her in this moment is to sit and just be there with her.

On Closed Doors and Changing Perspectives

I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize my own face. It looked somber, angry, incapable of ever smiling again.

Since the time college had ended and my had life become a whirlwind of whatever luck would bring me, I had been a little depressed and angry at God. It seemed like every door I knocked on didn’t want to open, and I had been knocking for quite a while now with still no open doors for me.

Whole 30 for Dummies: Meal Planning

The absolute backbone of your Whole 30 experience (besides bacon) is going to be meal planning. You will not get by without carefully calculating each thing that will go into your body everyday, because you can (and will) go from zero to hangry very quickly, and Lord help us all if there is not a handful of almonds or kale chips nearby.

A Time to Reassess

There are things about myself I wish I could change. Not in a dramatic, self-hatred kind of way: largely, I’m pretty happy. But there are habits and tendencies that I wish I could just shake off. I wish I was more disciplined, stuck at things when they’re hard. I wish I trusted my voice more. I wish I was more compassionate, went out of my way more to love people. I wish I went outside more and watched Netflix less.

5 Ways to Spend Your Free Time

I am always fighting this conundrum: If I am too busy, I get stressed out, and if I’m not busy enough… I get stressed out. What used to be a three-month issue during the summer now occurs on a weekly basis. I try to find ways to be more productive in my free time while constantly battling my desire to nap away my free hours. On the rare occasion when I stay awake, I have found a few ways to keep my mind occupied and my time productive.

Whole 30 for Dummies: An Introduction

In case the hype of Whole 30 has somehow passed you and your Instagram feed by, allow me to introduce you. Whole 30 is agreeing to 30 dairy-free, sugar-free, gluten-free, alcohol-free, legumes-free and MSG-free days. It is agreeing to only consume whole foods for a month while your body heals and resets from the processed and sugar-ridden foods that it is typically fed. As I type I am currently stuffed with the queso I binged at lunch because I am three days post-Whole 30, and I am going to tell you some reasons why I am currently driving the bandwagon on this seemingly crazy endeavor. 

Buying Jackets and Starting Over

I was two months into senior year, when I should have been living it up. Instead, I was panicking about what I was going to do with my life. I was wondering why I hadn’t been on a date in three years. I was worried that my depression and anxiety was going to be noticed by someone I didn’t tell myself. I needed something fast to push me forward, to say that the way I was feeling was okay, and that I could start over and be stronger for it. And maybe in a subconscious effort to regain that freshness I felt getting that jacket in high school (or just to have someone tell me my eyes looked nice) I bought the green bomber, zipped it snugly, and pushed through the mess for a few more months, feeling stronger than I had the day before.