The Ones Who Broke The Mold

I believe that our actions, our thoughts, our successes and failures are byproducts of the choices we make. I read books about psychology and the mind meant to inspire positive action, watch TED talks on productivity and healing destructive thought patterns. I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes I’ve made and pain I’ve caused. I’ve seen that choosing my daily rituals and taking action toward my dreams is the only way to bring myself closer to the person I want to become.

On Wishing Your Life Away

When I was younger, I used to think that life would get better after college. Or once I was married. Or once I had a big girl job. If only I could skip to this weekend, or next month or a couple years from now, things would be better.

The Netflix Fix

After recording the moments that caught my attention, I found that my collection created the perfect profile of a post graduate. All of these (highly recommended) shows have illuminated my life while I thought my brain was turned off. Our inner thoughts have been captured in the form of very lucrative entertainment.

Truth Grounding: A Piece About Anxiety

I’m a naturally anxious person, particularly skilled at the sport of Imagining All Worst Case Scenarios—gold medal level skills, I’d argue.“My mind is my main problem almost all of the time. I wish I could leave it in the fridge when I go out, but it likes to come with me,” the writing goddess Ann Lamott wrote. I only just recently figured out that this worry pulsating through my body since I was but a sweet child (disclaimer: this is a lie, I was not a sweet child) is what one might call Anxiety. This means I’ve had my share of panic attacks over the years—those breathless moments of feeling claustrophobic inside your own body—though I had no idea that those were actually called panic attacks until maybe a couple years ago.

The Bravery in Quitting

Refusing to quit has undoubtedly served me well in my 24-years. It is the reason I can sing now even though I was described as a tone-deaf child. It is responsible for the 60 pounds I have lost and kept off in the last three years. It has been the backbone of healing and strength and the two Whole 30s I have completed, but it has also been harmful. I become faithful to a fault, unable to walk away from things, like a sport I am not good at, because I have something to prove. Because I think it makes me weak to leave something instead of toughing it out.

The Reluctant Autumn

And while the magic was in full force, I could not shake a thought that apprehended just about everything else for me that day. I was haunted by a simple and unfair question: Why do we embrace change in nature, yet find ourselves reluctant to accept change in each other?

5 Tips for Preparing for Your First Job

With my time at home, I’ve been able to prepare for starting my job and moving cities. This has helped me ease the angst I have about beginning a new job and also allows me to ensure a smooth transition (going from having no responsibility to having a ton of responsibility won’t be easy!). Here are a few things I’ve considered and researched to prepare for the start of my career.

The Morning Commute: A Story of New Beginnings

The news groans on as the background noise to my morning. I paint my face confident. Caffeine enters my bloodstream, and my eyes widen just enough to finish my mascara. I slip into the shoes I bought in the junior section of Kohls and shrug into my worn sweater.

As 7 am rolls around, I load into my car with my oversized bag, coffee, and lunch tote and turn on the radio. My morning commute commences. 

The Gift of Friendship

I began to lose touch with so many of my friends. I’m sure you’ve heard something similar to the “you find out who your real friends are when you move away” banality before. Sure, sure. Of course it’s true. Relationships take multiple levels more effort when you can’t just show up at a friend’s house with a bottle of wine and an itemized list of issues for which they already have context.

The Benefits of Choosing to Stay Behind

“I want you guys to go, I’m just going to take a breather and hang out on my own for a bit,” I say. It’s the truth—when I feel myself getting into one of these moods all I want to do is be alone, not tear anyone down with me. But even in knowing that, I can’t pretend this isn’t a version of myself I don’t get along with. I spiral myself further down the rabbit hole, feeling awful for letting my friends down, berating myself for not being fun for them.

The Changing Seasons

The truth is, when we put stock in something as changeable as the weather, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. In high school, I looked forward to college. In college, I lived semester to semester waiting for the next new thing. And now, the next new thing is less certain. It’s hard sometimes to settle into the present without imagining a better alternative.

Dream Jobs Are Still Jobs

I thought my dream job would mean covering crimes happening next door, not my desk-neighbor’s missing hot sauce and the ensuing bitter retorts tossed about the room. I thought it would mean focusing on the world around me, not Spyin’ Bryan two desks down that liked to write down and track every move I made. (He would then send that info to my boss, as if my bathroom break was going to ruin the whole operation.)

Adjusting to Life in the Big City

I have come home every day for the last three weeks exhausted. My feet aching, my ankles covered in blisters from shoes that I believed to be comfortable but have thus far betrayed me, my back damp from sweating on the subway platform and my hair frizzy from the humid city air. (Gross, I know. I’m a vision.)

The Fear of Discomfort

I have a small poodle named Bella. She is scared of most things, and I do mean most things—the wrinkle of a grocery bag, the sound of her collar tag clanging against her food bowl, men—all these and more send her into a fit of shivers. Though the clinking of dishware doesn’t send me into fight-or-flight mode, I can relate to this pup saturated like a soggy sponge with fear and anxiety.