Today I Am On A Plane: The Move to New York City

Today I Am On A Plane: The Move to New York City

Today I am on a plane. 

I have just moved to New York City.  I have listened to "Empire State of Mind" 7 times.  I have had 2 mimosas. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know how I got here. 

Five days ago I was in Nashville, TN. My home for the past 4 years, my city, my happy place.

One day ago I was in Long Lake, MN. My home for the past 22 years, the only home I've ever lived in, my safe haven. 

Today I am on a plane. 

I have realized there is a difference between dreaming your dreams and living them. 

I have also realized how hard it is. 

The physical toll, packing all of your stuff into a suitcase that weighs under 50 pounds and cramming the rest into a carry on. Dragging both of them 6 blocks to the subway station. Carrying them up 2 flights of tiny city stairs. Sleeping on a couch while you figure out furniture. 

The emotional toll, packing all of your emotions into boxes and storing them under the grand piano at your parents' house until you have time to go through them. Watching the boxes rip at the seams, your neatly folded fears and delicately stacked shattered dreams spilling onto the floor as you try to hide your mess. Trying to fit them into your suitcase and take them with you. Leaving them behind. 

Today I am on a plane. 

I have realized what the difference is between talking about doing something and actually doing it. 

I have realized how amazing it is. 

How amazing it is that I could have done so little to gain so much from so many. So much willingness, so much patience, so much encouragement. Willingness to listen to my aspirations. Patience for me when they didn't go as planned. Encouragement to try again. 

I have realized how insane it is. 

How insane it is that after all of the heartache, the tears and the frustration, I am on this plane. How insane it is that my suitcase weighed 51 pounds. How insane it is that I was bumped to first class (and how insane this leg room is). How insane it is that I got through security in 15 minutes. How insane it is that I had time for coffee. 

How insane I am to be doing this. 

How insane that it all worked out. 

Today I am on a plane. 

I don't know what I'm doing here. 

I don't know how I got here. 

But. 

I know that I've dreamt about this for 22 years. 

I know that despite a few neatly folded fears tucked deep inside the overhead compartment, I can't stop smiling.  

I know that whether it's in 2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 years, I will be okay. 

I know I'm ready for this. 

Today I am on a plane. 

Today I am on top of the world.

[Photo by Lane Sasser.] 


A Collection of Postcards

A Collection of Postcards

Through the Eyes of a Child

Through the Eyes of a Child