When It's Time to Move On
When I graduated high school, I was the only person in my class going to my college; I wasn’t going to know anyone or be starting my freshman year with any high school peers. Honestly, I was perfectly all right with that.
Starting over in a new city with no friends while also dealing with the newness of college wasn’t itself ever easy, but I wanted it, and I knew that it was important that I learn those lessons. Now, I’ve lived here for almost six years, and it’s almost hard to remember the time it didn’t feel like home. I stayed right where I was after I graduated, not just because I wanted to, but where else would I go?
I had no expectations for what post-college was like, and I didn’t know what direction I wanted to take (and still don’t). I had built a life for myself that I wasn’t inclined to let go of just yet. At the time, every “option” I thought of didn’t seem right. Move back home? My parents had just moved to a place I’d never been, that wasn’t quit home. Go on to graduate school? I’d had my fill of academia for a least a year or so; at that point if I’d looked at one more Word document I would have lost it. Find a “real” job? Enticing, but near impossible to find and frustrating. Here I am a year or so later, and I think I know I need something new. I know I’m completely capable of starting over somewhere new this time around, but I had to let myself reach that point of “ok, it’s time for a few major changes.”
Don’t get me wrong, wanting to move on to something new doesn’t have to have a negative connotation. I’m not so miserable in my day-to-day life that I’m dramatically shouting from the rooftops, “Get me out of here!” (although I still imagine myself doing it sometimes). I am comfortable, which could be the root of the problem. I love my apartment, almost all of my friends are still a five-minute drive away, I have my favorite places to eat and secret spots I go to write. I made myself a home, but it’s not my forever home. That seems like a sad sentence, but to me it’s not. I know I’ll always have a home here, just like I’ll always have a home with my parents. But I have too many unfulfilled parts of myself to keep staying in one place, and it’s perfectly all right to think that you’ll never feel totally settled down anywhere.
[Photo by Juliette Kibodeaux.]