On Texting and Relationships

On Texting and Relationships

[8:00: Good morning babe x]

Looking back I realize that two of my past relationships - and I did not have that many - ended partly because of (attention: not via) messenger apps: the first one because of too much control, jealousy and his outrage at me for not texting about all my daily destinations, the second one because of him texting me all the time and getting on my nerves (“On my way to my friend. Arrived at my friend’s. Drinking beer. Now off to bed.”).

Hello? May I breathe?

[8:42: Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweety!]

Okay, I have to admit: Using messengers and social media platform is nice and easy in the beginning. You meet somebody at a party and exchange numbers (or you stalk them on Facebook or Instagram and add them once you have built up enough courage). Sooner or later you start texting. You feel like you’re on the same page? Great, first date is around the corner. Of course, there is always time to text the person of your interest, to tell of fun things that just happened like a minute ago, to show that you care. In return, even the smallest, one-worded answer will make your heart jump.

There comes a day, however, when messengers will be the platform for arguments. Entire fights that break out because someone sent ‘the wrong word’ or answered ‘the wrong way’ resulting in days of silence and grudge - not just between partners but also friends. But hey, no need to feel uncomfortable or to worry about what has our generation come to. It’s not just us. My mom and her boyfriend tend to argue via txt messages. Even my dad and my grandmother (!) do it.

[12:00: YOU are the one who doesn’t care.]

However, we cannot deny that social media and anything that goes with it have become a tremendous part of our daily interaction. I keep asking myself: Why is our generation so unbelievably anxious to inform others about our lives? Isn’t it the opposite of our wish to be accepted as free individuals that are not part of any mainstream crowd but more the hippies of the 21st century? Praising fitness, healthy lifestyle, work-life balance, organic food and anti-exploitation of all kinds? All food and love and happiness?

Don’t get me wrong, I work for a mayor technology company and I LOVE all kinds of hardware, software, applications and how they simplify my daily life. I get excited when all my data is magically synchronized on all my devices with no need to use an old-fashioned flash drive. Sometimes, I catch myself scrolling through my Instagram feed, ‘heart’-ing protein-pancakes and dream destinations.

[Becca tagged you in a picture.]

Nevertheless, I miss the days when people walked along the street talking to each other instead of texting people they are not even with at that moment. I also get annoyed when people text me 10 questions although we are about to meet up anyways.

The other day, one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend (she actually went to his house). Soon after she had gone home, he sent her four longer-than-long text messages saying how sorry he was, that he was caught off guard and did not know what to say when she was there and that he will most certainly fight for her and prioritize her in his life AND show his love on Facebook and Instagram. How cute.

Has technology turned us into cowards that want to save face by addressing problems via cell phones? Or is it just laziness? Why drive 150 miles to break up with somebody when texting is free?

I have to admit, it can be comforting, like an invisible shield. And since we all love to feel comfortable, texting about all kinds of serious things has become a natural habit. However, sometimes it is just better to put away your phone, maintain your relationships in real life and enjoy each moment to the fullest. It might even offer you a great opportunity for an incredible Instagram post later.

[Image credit.]


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