A Tough Love Letter: Valentine's Day Edition

A Tough Love Letter: Valentine's Day Edition

Happy Valentine’s Day, That First Year-ers!

Man, do I love this holiday. Always a big fan of anything that promotes excess junk food and alcohol consumption. And in the name of love. Crazy to know how in the minority I am on this one. What exactly happened to turn this holiday into a day of mourning for so many? Did Cupid, like, bludgeon a village of women and children with his bow and arrow? Was there a tragic pillaging that I missed? I frequently skipped my 8 a.m. world history lecture senior year and this is why I ask. 

From what I have gathered, the Valentine’s Day stigma has less violent roots. With the growth of social media came the growth of relationships gone public. Relationships gone ~rogue~. Gone are the days when a romantic gesture simply existed between two people because that is an archaic idea and we are a progressive tech-savvy generation who feels the Bern. So yeah, that girl who lived down the hall sophomore year is going to shove her and her boyf’s Vday plans down your throat like a plate of too-hot lasagna because this is America, goddammit. Welcome to the big leagues. We’re ALL involved now.  

Obviously this level of oversharing is enough to conjure many an eye roll. If you hate Valentine’s Day for this reason, that is completely fair and I get it.  But please stop saying things like “forever alone” or “pizza is my valentine.” Your insecurity is why this holiday has become increasingly less fun for the rest of us. Fix yourself, please. I am begging you.

“But Valentine’s Day just reminds me how single I am,” you say? GOOD. LIVE INTO IT. LIVE INTO IT HARD. Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Quit yer bitchin’. 

Also, since when did being single at 22 equate to being doomed and pathetic? Maybe I’m less traditional, but the expectation to settle down at this point in life is deeply disturbing to me. It’s offensive to women who have fought for independence over the past century, and it’s offensive to women who continue to fight patriarchy today. We are lucky enough to have a choice on the matter in a world where so many women still do not. We can be picky when it comes to dating. We should be picky. God knows the male population always has been... It’s about time we turn those tables, or at least shift them 90 degrees.

This is a season in your life where you happen to be on your own. You won’t always be. Or maybe you will. Nothing is certain. Ha. Anyway, sourcing your worth or happiness in another human being—by nature, prone-to-error—will leave you disappointed. That isn’t to say that loving and caring for someone isn’t a beautiful thing, but even once you find that person, I think it’s healthy to know just how okay you’d be without them. Choosing to commit to someone, but not necessarily needing them—there are few things more attractive than that. That’s also one way to maintain longevity.  

You’ve made it to the end of this weird rant, which means you can read and have an attention span, which probably means you’re a catch. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and live your life and celebrate because it’s just a silly holiday that advocates junk food and alcohol and love! All good things. Xoxo! 

[Photo by Ally Willis.]


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