To the Girl Who is Single on Valentine's Day
To the girl who is single on Valentine’s Day,
You are not alone. I know that feeling that hurts deep down in your stomach from seeing all of the cute dates people post about on social media. Or the rage of envy that consumes you when a friend tells you about the date her boyfriend took her on. Not to mention the feeling of being done with everything (go ahead and buy me a gallon of Blue Bell because I don’t care if I get fat anymore) when you see all of the engagements that are bound to pop up. But know this: you are not alone. There’s me, there’s thousands and thousands of girls feeling this same influx of feelings.
One thing I have learned about life is most of how we respond to things is all about our perspective. We could sit in our room all day on February 14th and eat our ice cream and cry or we can shift how we think about all of it and change how we react. Valentine’s Day is one day out of the year. And yes, it’s really just a day for companies to make loads of money off of cards, candy, flowers, etc. But the root of this holiday is all about love, and love is such a cool thing, because there are so many different kinds of love. And though most of the focus on Valentine’s Day is about romantic love, I want to encourage you to shift your perspective to the different types of love in your life. You may not have a romantic “valentine,” but you are loved regardless.
When I think about how I am loved, I think of God, family and friends. I am a daughter of a loving God and I know He designed me in love, by love, to love (John 15:9). He knows my heart, my dreams and my desires, and I have complete faith that he will provide me with what I need. And the same is true for you. If you gain anything from reading this I hope it is that you know there is a God who loves you and who has equipped you with a heart to be loved. You are not an unlovable person, and there is a plan for you.
You likely have a family who loves you. Your family was there from the beginning. They have loved you through your dirty diapers, your awkward middle school stages and through that one time you got a really bad haircut. And one day when you do have a valentine, they will still love you.
Your friends love you. My friends understand me, encourage me, laugh with me, cry with me and tell me my jokes are funny. And although some of them do have relationships, there’s a huge chance you at least have one friend who does not. Take time on Valentine’s Day to tell your friends how much they mean to you. Instead of drowning in jealousy and sadness and ruminating on why boys are the most complicated things on the planet, take time to show others your love. Send cards, call or text them, and let them know you love them.
Finally, you need to appreciate the love you have for yourself. It is so easy to forget about you. After all, it can feel like most of our energy is put into loving others. But I hope that you take this Valentine’s Day to not only feel the love that is given to you and from you, but also take time to be kind to yourself. Valentine’s Day is not the day to feel like you are not worthy. It is not the day to feel like you are less than the girls that have boyfriends or husbands. Do not think that you are not good enough. Do not think that you are not pretty enough. Do not spend the entire day wallowing in self-pity and thinking you are going to be forever alone. Don’t have a panic attack that you are 23 and have not met the love of your life (your brain isn’t even fully developed until your 25, so calm down). You are only at the beginning of your journey.
Instead, take time to truly love who you are. Do something for yourself on this day. Get a pedicure. Eat your favorite meal. Buy yourself flowers. Do something fun and out of the ordinary just because you want to. Have a Beyoncé dance party in your living room and be confident. Don't try to solve the enigma as to why you are single. It will get you nowhere. Instead, take comfort in these simple truths: You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are an incredible person doing incredible things. You are loved.
[Photo by Juliette Kibodeaux.]