Sh*t Happens, Also Not a Lot of Sh*t Happens
"Lane, what's been going on?!" asked a college friend visiting Nashville this past weekend. All I had to offer him was a graphic tale of a kid I nanny shitting his pants.
I guess that's about it!
I turn 22 at the end of the month. I feel like no one ever tells you that this is what 22 looks like. Or maybe that's all they tell you.
Either way, my middle-schooler brain held a very cosmopolitan idea of what 22 would look like and this wasn't it. Cleaning up the shit of another person's child was not it.
I expected 22 to be its own kind of hard. But, like, in a sexy, Taylor Swift way. I expected long hours at an entry-level job. But again, like, in a sexy, Taylor Swift way.
I just didn't expect literal shit. And this much free time.
The reality is - by most people's standards - there's not a long going on. I nanny quite a bit? I planted some tomatoes in the yard, which I have watered exactly twice? I sold a lamp on Craigslist for $20 because might as well? I'm overwhelmingly single?
Much of my summer has been spent hopelessly frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with seemingly perfect job prospects gone south. I'm frustrated to still be needing parental financial support. I'm frustrated because I feel so guilty about these things.
I really did not mean to mention Taylor Swift three times, but I read a pretty cool Taylor Swift quote on the Internet the other day:
"You are not someone else's opinion of you, you are not damaged goods if you made a few mistakes in your life, and you are not going nowhere just because you haven't gotten there yet."
I've had to face a lot of realities the past few months. I would go ahead and say the past few months have been some of the most difficult months. Family-wise, relationship-wise, finance-wise.
But these shortcomings, or setbacks, or whatever you want to call them, aren't "what's going on" right now, for any of us.
What's going on right now is living in a house with two of your best friends and it's hilarious and fucking FUN.
What's going on right now is painting and drawing and having the time to do what makes you happiest.
What's going on right now is nannying a little boy who may shit his pants, but tells you he loves you every time you leave.
What's going on right now is road trips. And learning to cook like an actual human being. And 50 cent wing night. And Fourth of July dance parties.
What's going on right now is 22... shit and lack of shit and everything in between.